6:09 am

hey,

it sucks when things dont turn out the way you want it to be.
life's like that. normally you get the chance, things happened, it got screwed.
its ok, you'll do better next time.
but i didnt even get my chance. you didnt give me my chance.
i would have been great.

i was looking forward to december. not anymore. now its only filled with 'what ifs'.
things happened for reasons, yea ? it'll get better. :)
I sooo need a ciggie now.

Nisa

Taking Chances

Hey,


Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,


Nisa

A Walk To Remember.

hey.

well, thats really all i wanted to say. :) oh, and also, i miss you

Nisa

I Like

hey


2009. i like


2008. i like


2007. i like.


Nisa

hey.

hehheheh. I dreamt of you last night. I woke up so very happy.
actually not really because i know it'll never happen.
but at least in my dreams it felt great. you're so cute :)

You cooked dinner. A surprise dinner date. Candles, wines and all.

So cute. :)


Nisa

Hey.

your lips utter lies.

You think Im blind. I was playing along. I always play along. :)


Nisa

Booo 2009

Hey.

So 2010 is coming. 2009 went by just like that. I achieved nothing, nothing at all.
But I did go to Bangkok and Dubai twice, Bali and Scotland. :)
I dont think that is gonna happen again. 2010 is a busy year, I hope.I dont like too much free time. I plan to take my o'levels, work super hard, continue my driving lessons, squeeze in short trips away and gain some weight:). Im thinking I should learn to sew. I definitely have to to party less. I might even scrap Big Wednesdays. I'll have chill-out nights at home with beers and movies and have pizzas delivered. (my 3 favourite things now that im jobless :P)

If I decide not to move in with my parents in Johor, I'll have to look for my own place. Rents aren't cheap and I hate the idea of paying for something thats not mine but I also hate travelling in and out of Singapore everyday. I have 6 months to save up and make my big decision. I like my privacy, I wanna have my own place and do whatever I like with it. The only thing that worries me is sleeping alone in the dark. Candles ? Ok, I have 6 months to work on that. OR! I can find a boyfriend and make him move in with me! :D Then again, in 6 months ? Not happening.

I cant wait for 2010. 2009 has been mean :( Gave me things I didnt ask and taking it back just as Im getting comfortable and attached to it.

Booo 2009.


Nisa

Everything is just a front

Hey.

Lets backtrack a lil bit.
I quit cavern. Alex and I broke up.
Life goes on ya know....?

See, not everything in my life is how I want it to be. ( yours too )
It has been this way for a very long time. I have never gotten what I wanted.
I wanted very much to finish school, I didnt.
I wanted very much to have a proper job, I didnt. How can I when I didnt finish school right ? Silly.
And I want very much for a baby girl. Again, very silly.
So now I guess I have to start all over. Fine. So i'll take my o'levels next year, have a stupid job in the meantime for me to get by so I dont starve to death. Im already very sickly looking. I feel disgusted looking at the mirror sometimes.

Ok, so how am I gonna get through this with so many distractions around ? I just will.
Love. Never asked for it, never wanted it since I was....what 19 ?
Freaking cupids. They keep shooting to the wrong person. If you really have to shoot those bloody arrows, cant I just have someone normal ? Someone who will accept me for who I am, share the same interest as I do, hold me when I cry, vacuum when I tell him to and be in the same country as I am. No dramas or whatsoever.
FYI, cupids are at it again. I can feel it.

Im waiting to start work. Im going to turn things around.
I will have everything I want by the time Im 25. Except for the man I want to be with, whoever he is. Maybe he doesnt love me back ya know. These things takes 2 hands to clap. :) So other than that, everything by the time I turn 25. OH! And also the baby part, that can wait too.

Everything is just a front. Well, not everything. Just most of them.
Love,


Nisa